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more obstinate I got, the more plants he gave me. In that way he was able to loosen my
assemblage point the minimum necessary for me to grasp the premises of his teachings.
However, in spite of his careful conduct, it had a high cost for me and it's one of the main
reasons why today my health is so deteriorated.
"Power plants have a limit and a sorcerer finds it very soon. They are an initial stimulus,
but they cannot become a base to work from, because they don't have the capacity to take
us to complete worlds, which is what a seer looks for."
"Do you mean that the movement they induce in the assemblage point is not sufficiently
great?"
"It's the opposite, they produce a deep and unpredictable shake. A real sorcerer can
manage that, but not an apprentice. If he uses them to break his perceptual limits, the
beginner will be tempted to classify everything he is witnessing as hallucinations; after
all, everything started from a plant! In that way, he will never reach the degree of
commitment needed to fix his assemblage point in a new position. Plants take you
quickly and easily to another world, but they don't allow you to stalk it; that is their
limitation.
"The best way of deploying our perception is through dreaming. As a method, dreaming
is just as simple but less risky, more comprehensive and, above all, much more natural.
"The goal of an apprentice is to take the reins of his assemblage point. Once he is able to
displace it, he has to repeat those movements without external help, by force of discipline
and impeccability. Then we can say the warrior has found an ally."
The Trap of Fixation
In one of his lectures, Carlos explained that nothing is as fragile as the fixation of the
assemblage point. He maintained that the art of agreeing is so special that we spend
twenty years of daily training to achieve it. Those who do achieve it, we call 'adults', and
those who don't are 'crazy'.
"However, nothing is easier for us than moving to new universes. To do it, we just have
to return to what we were."
He explained that the fixation of the assemblage point consumes enormous quantities of
energy, and produces a static vision of the world. The energy used in that way is
dispersed all through our luminosity and it winds up crammed in along its borders, where
it forms dense masses that create a reflection of the self. Under these circumstances, to
change the fixation becomes an exhausting task.
"To break the trap of fixation, one should try any recourse. In most cases, only a push
coming from the outside can cause the movement of a person's assemblage point. When
we have a great, great deal of luck, we receive that push through the blow of a nagual.
"Once the initial displacement is achieved, the warrior should fight for control of his
attention, by means of exercises of intent and practicing dreaming. Dreaming is the
escape door for the human race, and it is the only thing that can give our existence its
appropriate dimension."
Dreaming and Awakening
Carlos had a great ability to turn conversations towards the practical side of things. In
spite of the extraordinary sharpness of his intellect, he hated it if conversations sank to
the level of mere speculations. I often watched how he in an ingenious but firm manner
would unravel the argumentation of the most rigid speakers, confronting them with the
topic of results.
In my case, his method for silencing my attacks of rationality consisted of reducing
everything to an immediate proposition and, according to him, something not very
difficult: The control of dreams.
However, for me dreaming was the hardest aspect of his teaching. First, because I could
not distinguish the concept of 'dreaming' from ordinary dreams, which are two totally
different things for a sorcerer. Second, because the idea of focusing my attention on
sleeping instead of on awakening was contrary to everything that I had learned in my
philosophical search.
Both these considerations very quickly made me avoid dreaming, without ever accepting
it as an authentic and reachable possibility. Whenever I listened to him talking about it, I
was filled with apprehension. And I justified all this by saying to myself that such an
irrational topic wasn't even worth the pain of trying to analyze it.
That afternoon he asked how my practice was going. I admitted that my prejudices had
prevented me from making a serious decision and, not surprisingly, I had not obtained
any positive result.
He commented:
"Maybe you just haven't been lucky. My teacher said that each human being brings his
basic inclination with him at birth. Not
everybody can be a good dreamer, some find stalking easier. The important thing is that
you insist."
But his words didn't console me. I began explaining to him that my incredulity seemed to
be the result of some mental block, implanted in my earliest childhood.
He didn't allow me to finish. Making an imperative gesture with his hand, he replied:
"You have not done enough. If you promise yourself that you will not eat, or pronounce a
single word, until you dream, you will see what happens! Something in your interior
becomes soft, the dialogue gives in and... kaboom!
"Keep in mind that, for you, dreaming is not just an option, it's something basic. If you
don't accomplish it, you cannot continue on the path."
Alarmed by his words, I asked:
"But what do I have to do to achieve it?"
"You must want to do it!" he answered. "It is as simple as that. You are exaggerating the
difficulty of this exercise. Dreaming is open to everybody, because to start, it barely
requires the minimum of deliberation that is necessary to learn how to type or to drive a
car."
I commented that it was very difficult for me to understand how the handling of dreams
could take us to internal awakening.
He observed:
"You are confused by the words. When sorcerers speak of dreaming and awakening, the
terms don't have anything to do with the physical states you know. I don't have any
choice but to use your language, because otherwise you would not understand me at all.
But if you don't do your part, and put aside everyday meanings
and try to penetrate the meaning of what I'm telling you, you will never get out of this
state of mistrust.
"I can only guarantee you that, once you discard the laziness that prevents you from
facing the challenge, and attack dreaming directly and without hesitations, your mental
mess will clear up by itself."
I apologized for my stubbornness and asked him to elucidate the meaning of dreaming
once more.
Instead of getting involved in a theoretical explanation, which was what I wanted, Carlos [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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