[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
that every week is Bowb-
Your-Buddy Week but this is ridiculous!"
"Oh no!" rasped Dr. Krankenhaus. "Oh God, no! It can't be! Guards! Fiends!
Creatures!
Help
!"
"Save your breath, Doc," exulted Rick, his voice noticeably different now. "I
took the precaution of bolting, locking and then supergluing
" He held up a container with a dripping nozzle, " the doors here! And since
I've already mastered the controls on this corpuscular computer, a little
nudge...." Rick flicked a toggle. Immediately, a chorus of muffled screams
filtered through the thick doors. "...will take care of any battering ram
attempts. That was the psychic equivalent of a quick knee in the groin, my
friends. So stay where you are or be prepared for a good swift one as well!"
"Rick! What's wrong with you!" said Bill, baffled.
"That's the voice of Latex Delazny," said Irma. "I recognize it."
"Irma, I meant to ask you," said Bill. "How come you told me your name was
Irma Feritele?"
"I don't know, Bill. I guess I lost my memory. I got confused." She jabbed a
forger at Rick. "But I can't forget that voice. Delazny! This is all your
fault!"
"I've come to your succor, haven't I, sweet Irma? And I still mean to have
you, my love..." A leer crept
file:///G|/Program%20Files/eMule/Incoming/Har...the%20Planet%20of%20Tasteless%
20Pleasures.htm (68 of 95) [10/14/2004 11:58:11 PM]
Bill, the Galactic Hero on the Planet of Tasteless Pleasure over Rick's
contorted features, "...and every other beautiful woman in the Galaxy to boot.
I'll show those fools how they sneered at me what macho really means!"
"But Rick ... Buddy! What happened? Have you been on dirty Delazny's side all
along?" said Bill, feeling betrayed.
"Can't you see, Bill?" gasped Dr. Krankenhaus. "That's not Rick the Supernal
Hero! That's an android model. Controlled, no doubt, by sophisticated radio
signals by Dr. Delazny himself, safely hiding away somewhere outside the
Over-Gland!"
"That's right, Bill! I built this model special myself!" came Delazny's voice
through Rick's mouth. "And it all worked out very well! I knew you were my
man, Bill! I just knew your homing instincts would take us right to where the
hormones hang out! And now, thanks to this wonderfully bizarre contraption
that the good Doctor has built with a few special settings that I will set
into it right now I will be able to control the bio-computer from my base
beneath the sea at Colostomy!"
"I don't understand, Delazny!" said Bill. "Just what the bowb are you trying
to do? I thought you were seeking the secrets of peace! I thought you were
trying to stop the Chinger War!"
"Oh, the War will stop soon enough! With this new power I will be able to
Page 70
ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
crush anyone or anything that gets in my way! And naturally, I shall control
every single human being in the Universe! I shall have power that no other
tyrant has ever dreamed of! Every man my slave and much more important,
every woman as well. All of them mine! Mine! They all laughed and said I was
mad!" The Rick android cackled wildly. "Now we'll see who is mad! Do excuse me
for a moment. I have some rather important adjustments to make!" The android
turned back to diddle with the knobs and switches on the board.
"No!" cried Dr. Krankenhaus. "No, I won't allow it!" Somehow, the man
untwisted himself and commenced staggering toward the Dr. Delazny creature,
his hands out and curled into claws. "I'll kill you, Delazny! Kill you!"
The Rick android grinned, and pulled a switch. With a horrendous scream, Dr.
Krankenhaus vibrated for a moment, and then crashed to the floor, twitching
and spasming until he passed out.
"Daddy!" cried Irma.
"Stay back," said Bill, grabbing ahold of her and keeping her from running to
her wounded father.
A pseudopod from the bio-computer flowed out and enveloped the fallen doctor.
It pulled him through an opening in the thing's side.
"Ha ha ha! Now stay back, you two," warned Rick/Delazny. "I have a vile
purpose in mind for you both, for which I will need you alive.... But if you
try anything, I'll be just as happy to feed you to the Bio-
Comp here!" He turned back to the controls, playing them with manic skill,
laughing all the while.
Irma fell into Bill's arms, sobbing and moaning. "Daddy!" she cried. "Oh, dear
Daddy! I've lost you forever."
Bill enjoyed holding onto her but realized as well that this was the time
for cool thought, not warm embrace. What could he do? Trying to stop the
android at the controls would clearly deliver him into a fate as unsavory as
that of the late Dr. Krankenhaus. Irma's warm, soft body against his was most
distracting. But was this the end?
"Psst!" said a tiny little whisper. "Bill!"
Bill blinked. "Wussha?"
What was that? Surely not Irma down there, snuffling and sobbing into his
manly chest. No, it didn't sound like her at all! Maybe it was his
imagination.
"Psst!" That voice again. "Bill! Bill, down here!" It was from the floor!
"Your foot, Trooper. Lift up your
file:///G|/Program%20Files/eMule/Incoming/Har...the%20Planet%20of%20Tasteless%
20Pleasures.htm (69 of 95) [10/14/2004 11:58:11 PM]
Bill, the Galactic Hero on the Planet of Tasteless Pleasure foot?"
"Which one?" said Bill.
"The cloven one, you idiot! I've got to talk to you!"
Bill shrugged. It was something to do. "Excuse me, Irma," he said, gently
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]