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keep some fear at bay. I feel like something awful s gonna
happen.
The words went through him. Was Kate going to let loose the
accusations she really had on her mind when she caught him with
his laptop full of Averyl?
Whatever, he kept quiet, not volunteering anything.
Kate, with wide, dread-filled eyes courtesy of Edvard Munch,
seemed about to say something more.
He pulled her head closer.
You might have to take me to the hospital, she said.
His arm went slack it wasn t Averyl. But what was wrong
with Kate?
Any first aid he knew, he left in Vietnam. Silent images of
buddies, long past, streamed through his mind s eye and they had
the same horror in their faces that Kate now showed.
Yeah, he d seen it in Nam, especially one time Lindsley in
camp was cleaning his M-16 right after a bout of gunplay with
Charlie while on recon. Lindsley handled that M-16 like it was a
live snake and broke down in an anxious funk. Shell shock.
Like then, he took Kate s wrist, checked for vitals. On cue, the
training came back. Her pulse was hammering away like the Sixties
drummer Ginger Baker in Cream.
You got a fast pulse, he said, not wanting to alarm her. Why
don t we go downstairs, sit in the parlor, it s cooler. I ll get you
some water.
Minutes later, Kate, thin blanket about her shoulders, sat with
him on one side of the couch, a single streetlight, a few houses
away, giving forth the only light to intrude upon the darkness of the
parlor.
I felt fragile, like I was doomed, she said, holding the water
glass to her lips with a slight tremor.
She was so vulnerable, a victim, he guessed, of hormones run
amok. He was ready to sit with her the whole night if that s what
she needed.
Oh, it s happening again. I feel awful.
His thumb searched her wrist for a pulse. Sure enough, her
heart raced like that drummer cut loose again. Just take one deep
breath for me. Try. Kate s head pushed back on her shoulders and
she did her best with a fitful intake of air. There. Deep breath in.
Deep breath out.
The pulse seemed to slow once more. That bad feeling, it
comes in waves, until it plays itself out, he said, remembering how
he, too, had some anxiety rushes in Nam, especially the last
months of his tour.
Sure enough, she seemed calmer, less agitated by the anxiety
demons. He felt not talking was best at that particular moment, for
Kate was looking pensively at her lap, reflecting, perhaps, on the
pure fear her body was offering up on its own.
He let go of her wrist, startled by the wash of street light that
now fell tentatively across her face. His hand reached to caress her
forehead where her bangs stopped in a precise line, the only line
visible in that faint light. For in the meager light there were no
wrinkles in Kate s face, no inklings of crow s-feet at the corners of
her eyes. No, nothing more than the contours of this smooth skin
that he knew was a face returned from those days so many years
ago, which now seemed like yesterday, when he first knew her.
His fingers thrilled to the touch of her forehead and bangs for
he knew this was the same woman, ageless, he d fallen in love with
those twenty-five years ago. And he knew that in that moment, as
her head rose and fell with a deep breath and the light changed its
play slightly over her wondrous facial shape, that he was fully
capable of falling in love with her again. Maybe Averyl was only a
misdirection of his best impulse.
He brought her closer to him and to his amazement, he could
not see better, nor see less perfection, for the light and darkness
together removed all lines of age from Kate s face.
I m keeping you up all night, she said, the suffering absent
from her voice.
Then he bent close to her lips.
Oh, here s another one, she said alarmed.
He kissed her anyway.
LA MOSCA
Laura had what she d just as soon call the faints. Oh, at first,
Dr. Koppel assured her people got dizzy, fainted for dozens of
reasons, all mostly harmless. But Tuesday Koppel took a pen from
her white-coat pocket, pointed to a Rorschach of shadowy grays on
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